reply-to: agencies_fundsrelease@live.com
subject: ***Your Email Have Won***Congratulations!!!
Dear Email Winner,
Following official publication of results of the E-mail electronic On-line
Sweepstakes organized by the Free Lotto Email Sweepstakes Program Corporation, the
Slide circular award and the Heineken prizes in conjunction with the foundation for
the promotion of software products, (F.P.S.), held on the 5th of May, 2009. In
Brussels Belgium, Wherein your electronic email address emerged as one of the on-
line winning emails in the 1st category, hence your email address was attached to a
cash award of $1,200,000.00 USD. This program is organized to promote special
Internet products, online banking, Internet, Microsoft users and aid to the under
privileges. Etc.
We write to officially notify you of this award and to advise you to contact the
processing office immediately upon receipt of this message for more information
concerning the verification, processing and eventual payment of the above prize to
you.
Please contact the claim agents
Contact Person: Mr. Geld van Lekeens
TEL: +32-487-263-564 or +1132-487-263-564
Reply to Email: agency_fundsrelease@live.com
It is important to note that your award information was released today 15th of May
2009, with the following particulars attached to it.
Winning Information's
Email Ticket Number EB50-11-14-9-77
Reference Number: BE 47/66619
Draw Lucky Number:01-47-10-33-74/*9*8
Batch Number: TL 32/104660
Serial Number: EU- 52/891147
Your Full Name & Telephone Number:
Please note, all winning must be claimed NOT later than 30th of June 2009.
ONCE AGAIN CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Yours Sincerely
Mrs. Jessica Johnson,
Promotions Coordinator
FREE LOTTO 2009
BRUSSELS, BELGIUM.
Posts
My Reply. Surprisingly they continued correspondence
ReplyDeleteDear Mr. Geld van Lekeens,
How Fantastic. I'm over the moon. This could not have happened at a better time. I'm currently facing a bankruptcy hearing and to be honest I didn't know where I was going to get the money. You see, I tried to set up an erotic pet store in my home town of Doncaster over three years ago but unfortunately it has been one disaster after another. The RSPCA constantly picketed the shop which lost us a lot of business. Our range of genetically engineered Rampant Rabbits broke free one night and raped the tape worms in 'Planet Phallus', which spoilt the whole batch and forced us to dump them. Then our shipment of 'Cockless' Cocks and Roosters (sort of transsexual poultry) got mixed up with a shipment of dead, frozen turkeys from Bernard Matthew's farm. "This is an erotic pet shop" I told them, "not some freaky store for necrophiliac beastialists", but alas it was too late as my boyfriend Harold had already signed for them. For six long months it was turkey breakfast, lunch and dinner. Truly awful.
Since the economic recession hit last year, the little business we had has dried up. People aren't prioritising erotic pets anymore and even worse, ruminant mammal rapes are once again common place in Doncaster. I was in the process of emailing my solicitor to have the company wound down when I received your email. It was so lucky, a real act of god. And I want you to know that I intend to share of some my winnings with you, oh lord its a miracle.
I don't really use computers often and this email stuff is very new to me. Can you somehow email me a cheque or is that still science fiction? Shall I send you some stamps in the post? I feel silly admitting this but I still don't even own a mobile phone. Perhaps I could buy one now with my winnings.
Yours Sincerely
Sebastian Credule
hahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteThat reply letter's fuckin hilerious!
Thanks you.